Online diary, rip your guts out, the blood is on the dancefloor...

A hiatus you say?

So early into what I can only one day imagine will become and illustrious and would be highly acclaimed blogging career, I took a break.

**GASP**

*Shudder* You dont say?!?!

Ya, well I got sidetracked, happens often to us a.d.d, art fag, low focus/big flash types. I got a little lost, My goals fell apart slowly and work tried to creep in as my number one. Since we have all been told to adhere to the roles set out for us, I gave it a try...but what the corporate monster and the cog's in the wheel wanted from me I was not willing to give, its just not how I'm built baby.

It ate my soul, so I quit.

HA!


Then, I went out, got good and wasted with some of my most inspiring loves, sang, laughed, free stlye rapped (no one ever wants to hear that, by the way) and woke up on Monday set to do what I would be doing without a "schedule" of some other monsters demands.

I went to the gym, I finally went to the addicted to fitness class I talk about earlier in this blog, it was INSANE, I was not prepared for how out of shape I actually am, especially after 9am vodka drinks the weekend before. Oh shit....So it hurt, a lot, but I did it, and I felt amazing. The next day I woke up to a beautiful bright sun rapping against the shutters begging for me to come bask with my canine friend.

So I DID THAT TOO!!! I went for a two hour hike/walk with my roommates dog and my new best friend ever, Kaslo. We did some over due exploring both yesterday and today that brought my mind and body and soul to a super positive happy place.

To make things even better over the course of 5 days, I know what I wanna be when I grow up and have an admissions interview on monday at a school here. Im reactivating my commitment to my one true love (which is MUSIC and sharing it with people - animals tie, but since I cant work anywhere where they could potentially die, music is more suited for a career)

What about money you ask? Well thats a good question, I have a few odd jobs lined up and a little nest egg to fall back on (say what you want about working for the man, but those greed obsessed money mongers are good at paying the "help") I've promised myself that the next place I commit to will not have me selling my soul to get ahead in the very world that is destroying this planet. Being saturated with the ignorance that that sort of "business" grows actually made me have some suicidal thoughts, haha try that shit on for bad day at work. I'm not entirely serious, but I did have more than one night of crying myself to sleep and contemplating using some very illegal narcotics to help ease the pain of being stuck in a no light tunnel.

Enough with the dark, it is banished and I have been given so MANY unreal blessings in this life that I can't even begin, I have an angel on my side who was mine in life and in her earthly death, and I feel her pulling the lighted stars out of my soul and tossing them into the path ahead for me to follow. I randomly connected with a sweet male friend who has known tragedy in his life, and his selfless sharing of his own experiences helped me in a deep and beautiful way too. I'm going to be better than ok, I don't think I have ever felt so ALIVE in my life.

In fact the only tears I have now are ones of joy, and knowing tomorrow I will go out, and in some way shape or form nuture my health and wellness. That makes life even better. Its going to be hard, and scary at times, but thats life, and I'm loving living it.

Im back blog-o-sphere, and I'm coming to inspire your soul.